The Metro

Darkness, the metro sits in darkness

as life can sometimes be.

Quiet, the metro lies quiet,

as people who are beginning to dream.

Slowly, the metro goes slowly 

as fast as pain leaves the heart.

Empty, the metro lays empty 

as the hearts of many human beings.

 

 

Faster,the metro goes faster

as does the pulse of my heart

 

 

Dreaming, I sit here dreaming 

of big things that will soon become true

Thinking, I sit here thinking 

of the many great ambitions I have.

 

But most importantly, humble,

being humble

is how I need to stay 

 

 

 

*My attempt at some poetry. Not that good, but got to start off somewhere. Inspired by my ride on the metro.

Life can sometimes be humorous

     A couple days ago, I was looking through blogs and unexpectedly found my ex-loved ones blog. I died. Like I died laughing. She wrote some pretty depressing posts. All about how she did not feel it with the guy she was with right now. I guess her “trade-off” did not work well. However what made me laugh were not her miseries but how she got her heart broken. By reading her post apparently the guy she was with is gay. I have nothing against gay people but to change a straight guy who cared for her a ton for a gay guy who was most likely just used her is really funny and sad. I hope she learned her lesson. I can recall like 3 months ago she telling me on the phone how the “guy” she found was perfect for her and how she thought this was serious(I know, what a douche) and it did not come out that way haha. On her posts she was saying how she felt empty with him. Like their “kisses”(hook-ups) did not mean anything anymore. She felt empty with him. The saddest (still funniest) thing is that I remember that I warned her of these kind of people(not gay but people who would hurt her) in the last letter I wrote her. I specifically told her to be careful about being used. Yes, that is how much I cared, I cared for her soul. I really did like her but I guess she did not appreciate it and too bad for her, I do not hold any resentment  towards her though. Anyways even if he was not gay she was being used, hope she recovers because she had a pretty depressing post titled “hanging by a thread”, which means she is in big problems. 

     So ladies remember, be careful when you leave someone who cares for you because you might leave him for some other person who you might regret being with. Think twice ladies. 😉

A Dream’s Direction

So true

The Facebook monster

Faceboook, the social media giant that has revolutionized the world. However from my own experiences it has done more harm than good. It has wasted countless valuable hours that I will never get back. Hours that would be better invested in reading, writing, and doing things that will help me in the future. I would be checking non-stop every other 10 mins to just see what people were doing. As I learned, sometimes it is better to not know too much about a certain person. It is better to get to know the person in person than to actually know there life through just a website. Many things can come in mind without really knowing the person. Facebook has also made me feel depressed at time. Not because of how many more likes someone else got than me or because I have less friends,(I am not a chick… haha, no disrespect to any ladies reading this 😉 ) but mainly because of disapointment. A chick I had really cared about has taken a 180 degree turn once she got into college and became something else. Something that she isn’t. The worst thing is that I had feelings for her and seeing her with like other “guys” really made me feel bad. To be honest it brought me down. But I am tired of that feeling. I am tired of those pictures, I am tired of knowing too much about a person. That is why I deleted my account and now I am realizing that I have been using my time more wisely. e.g. Writing  this blog which  not only can I express my feelings but I am improving my writing skills. Well to finish this off this post, FB does have its pros. For example to keep in touch with people which can be good for networking. I may activate it again, but it would be for profesional reasons, I would have to control myself because everything is better in moderation.

Like Plato said “The man who makes everything that leads to happiness depends upon himself, and not upon other men, has adopted the very best plan for living happily. This is the man of moderation, the man of manly character and of wisdom.”

 

If You …

The end of a story

 

       

     I saw her today, looking as energetic and beautiful as always. She wanted to talk to me about how sorry she was about how things ended. (Sorry is such a hypocritical word) That was it. I bet she realized it once she got back, that living with all these memories nearby is not easy. That’s why I want to leave. I want to leave this state, this country. Form a new life, take care of myself, stop being a burden. This is really hard, these feelings are hard to live with. I will even confess, I am on the verge of shedding a couple of tears right now. But I know I have to be strong, I have to direct all these emotions and convert them into motivation. I cant wait until college starts again. With this ends the story. The story of a lot of love, hope, and of a broken heart. Time to flip the page and make this year 2013 the best one. 

 

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall” 

The end of the chapter

 After 4 months, I am about to see her. Not my decision, she wants to talk to me. She sent the first text. To be honest I did not want this to happen. I think I was coping fine with not texting her and was partially moving on. But ok, if she wants to talk it is because something is going on. I know she already moved on, which is the weird part… So who knows. I think this will be last time I will see her in my lifetime, I am finally going to let everything go for good. Its a new year and time to put the end to this chapter. 

Dreams

 To dream is to replace reality

It is an outlet for human suffering

The only thing that keeps us hopeful

 A vast speculation of how you want things

to be

A temporary drug for the 

human mind.

Forgetting

        I cant forget. It has been 3 months already since I “departed” from my loved one. I think of it like waking up from a dream, a really good dream and just going back to reality. The time when you realize that it was all a dream is when it really hurts. The illusion you had goes away and the disappointment kicks in. That time usually lasts for a second or two but for me it has lasted 3 months. After this unfortunate event I have lingered on one question. Why cant it be different? Fortunately after so much thinking, I think I have an answer……

       It cant be different because there is something better out there. In other words everything happens for a reason and from a positive outlook, its for the best. This “break up” took off the blindfold that was blinding me from many things. It motivated me to aspire for more. It made me more ambitious and in a way, it made me hate conformist. I think it was because she was like that. She was very smart, ambitious and had big dreams. In a way she dreamed of moving from a high middle class to the high class. It was perfectly fine with me because I think that is many peoples dream. However there was one flaw in her views or dreams. She thought that to accomplish that she had to leave people behind no matter what. An individualist. I think that is the reason why she left. She thought that maybe I was not good enough for her.( To remind you I am a low middle class immigrant). Although I got into a great college she got into a better one. One that she would be surrounded by smart, rich, racial superior people. I am glad she got in because at least she is realizing her dream and at least one of us is happy. However this makes me want to prove her wrong. It sparked a motivation that I had not felt in a long time. Now I want to aspire to be someone important in this world. Although I do care about money it is too superficial and happiness can not be bought. On the other hand as my mom always tell me “whatever you do, do it to help humanity”. I want to be remembered about how I helped the less fortunate. I dont even want to be remembered I want to make an impact. God cares less that you are remembered, he cares more about what you did to help out others.

In conclusion I aspire for greatness now. I want to be someone important or at least someone who has impacted someones life for the better. I am glad I met her because I got exposed to those views. Now I have to take her positive beliefs and learn from them as Kazi Shams said “Learn from others , as you would learn from your own mistakes” .

Sincerely,

Me

“When I succeed I will bring people with me, I wont leave them behind. I want to share my success, not be an unselfish human being”

After being on the losing side

God is confusing, though I still love him no matter what. I have learned to love him, even after things don’t go right. Real Madrid just got eliminated in La Copa del Rey to Barcelona. The impotence I feel of being a Real Madrid fan is great because its been already too many loses. Although Real Madrid did not play bad, they still tied the game 2-2 which on an aggregate score eliminates them 4-3. I heard the commentators say how they did not deserve going 2-0 because RM had been the better team. Soccer is unfair, but I learned to get over that. To win, you need luck. period. I talk about God because when going 2-2 and with 15 minutes left, I quickly went to get my rosary and prayed that Real Madrid at least scored once. But it did not happen. Its not that I doubt in God, but I wonder if many other Barcelona fans grabbed their rosaries and prayed. I know it sounds dumb, but I just wonder……